loveMELT newsletter #025: and all the fun we had last year
It’s December and I wish the year wasn’t already one to remember. Feels like we just got here. The other day, my buddy Pete asked me to read poetry at his last ‘Rogue Lit’ night for the year at the neighborhood pub. I haven’t read anything in awhile since I’ve been focusing on visual art, but feeling two-pints-confident, I agreed.
Now I’m diving into things I’ve written and figuring out what to share. Endings flush up reflection and beginnings. And what an intense year we have to reflect on as a human race and as individuals. I’ve selected a few poems if you’d like to read them.
Brown Basement | 2016
In this brown basement I incubate In this brown basement I weep In this brown basement I make my plans In this brown basement I leave circumstance In this brown basement there is no closet space In this brown basement I surrender ego In this brown basement I hear the world In this brown basement I extract truth In this brown basement I struggle In this brown basement I rebirth
Simple as | 2017
Becoming | 2020 - 2023
On the cusp of becoming myself I am terrified Terrified of becoming someone else on the way to myself I see what I claim I’ll be when I peak And when I peek through the keyhole the grass is green with creativity where I’m supposed to be But here I am scared of the day the days getting away from me Spending my energy doing the things that afford me to be here on the cusp Each day tasking me against my dreamed reality A fork in the road found at every forward split in my step How long will my days remain sliced between what I do to spiritually exist and what I do to American subsist? Defeated, some days I ask what gives me urgency to be an artist Is it merely for the identity? What’s at stake when I make? Do I have the patience to wait? Will I stick to the plan I set? Can I continue to create only when employee off-hours dictate? Patience I hear from others Patience I tell myself Five days a week working in digital tech The future of it scares me to shit I first studied it as a critique to make an art exhibit And now here I sit at a cubicle in its midst as part of its money-making drift What happened? I am a woman in this world who’s witnessed women strapped to men to make it through I’ve told myself that will not do But am I a coward for not starving? Should I exit before it’s too late I could die anytime and my creativity could get behind Is on the cusp the right or wrong place to be? It isn’t easy and it feels wrong But if I alter my sights, could it be right? because between two things is where exotic, erratic beauty breathes If I open my eyes is there something else to see? Tell me to take another step so when my legs split I’m wandering disparate lands Half Typing on a keyboard Walking in the trees Writing an email Reading a book Testing a feature Painting a thing Drafting a spec Sculpting fabric Maybe I’m doing all these things and I’m fine if I let myself be as multiplicity for the time being My mind is a wild beast Beautiful and also my worst enemy I guess it comes down to the desire to feel free wherever that stems from If I will ever truly know what that means Living off artistry lives within Capitalism But making money unconventionally through exploratory creativity has its hooks in me The rebel yell will not leave And so I guess I’ll be splitting my fork until the seeds I’ve planted in my art garden provide me enough eat And when I feel I’ve become a ‘real’ artist I know I’ll still be becoming Not beholden to a thing Because art is a question not a complete
Loveshapes | 2022
In the midst of concrete I love you in the abstract And when you love me back the cracks in our beings reach for each other’s making us a path to move into never-before-felt Loveshapes
I hope we end and begin the year for each other in love, empathy, support, and as always…some fun.
Sadie
PS—Making playlists is one of “a few of my favorite things”
Fall Baby | APPLE MUSIC PLAYLIST
Holiday Rouge | APPLE MUSIC PLAYLIST